Proudable Person

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I was thinking about my professional life.I'm a musician.Graduated.I made a list with the things i know doing in music:

-Arrangements

-Recordings

-Mixing

-Composing

-Song writering

-Backing vocals

-Singing (i'm ok on it)

-Playing electric Guitar

-Playing acoustic Guitar

-Playing bass Guitar

Things i'm working on playing good

-Playing Bass Guitar

-Singing

-Drums

-Keyboard

I'm a teacher also.

I don't have a fix job.Now i'm twenty and one.Almost.I have friends who admire myself as musician.The most of then are musician too.I'm good in playing guitar.I'm also good in making arrangements.But i'm just OK.I'm not satisfied with that.I really like to be fucking good on it.It looks obviously.Its very difficult to win money with music in my country.I mean with true music,with art.Not the false-intellectual music or the shit music.But a good and authentic music by itself.

This feelings grew stronger when i notice that i do not look like doing something.Me and some musician friends are working to make a Label.A label where we can do the best we can.But being a musician can look very strange for a non-musician person.When i'm just playing a song, or listen to music its like working or studying.We have to work without any payment , or a small payment, a lot of times, to make professional contact, to learn.And everything looks like silly thing.And it can be, if it doesn't work in fact.

Its hard put the pleasure of your life together with work.Work almost means: do just what you have to do,independent you like it or not.Music needs inspiration.Not only inspiration.You need knowledge to compensate the less inspiration.I know that i have to be more dedicated.More studying.I have study a lot of things.I need time to make the things i've learned grow up to knowledge.Its working.But i can't stop studying.

I felt i need to do something about my music when a had an idiot feeling.I'd like to make my friends proud.One person in special.The girl i'm in love with.She had been study music in the past, but give up.She is sensitive, knows a lot of what music really is just listening to this.She is a language teacher.She likes teaching,she likes to talk too.She's older then me.She study making carnival allegory.She loves me.I have listen to her talking about people who do great things.Proudable people.I'd like to be proudable too.I'm working on it.In fact i'd like to make her proud.Maybe she is.But i'd like to do something to be great.Which would mean what it have to mean by itself.When you want to do one thing in special it's not a good focus.Music needs a part of you on it.I have to be more...special?I said be 'cause being influences rightly to the way you make it.Is the way and not the thing in fact.

I want to give her back all the inspiration that she gives me.She inspires me a lot.I want to do something to inspire her too.Inspire her doing allegory or teaching or just inspire.I want to do an orchestral song, or a musical,but i can't be anxious with that.I can try a sing-a-long song.However.I want to give it back.I think that can make her happier.